Got a Binder and unfortunately it felt really awesome

To receive a binder from a company based out of London kind of feels like little Superman being shot out of Krypton to find a home in Kansas, USA, Planet Earth. My heart goes out to the trans people over there for the uphill battle they've fought for years, especially this one. And of course, thanks for the gender-affirming cloth. 

I did not think that I absolutely needed to be flat but I guess I really did. I was sick the morning that it came in, on Tuesday, and was apprehensive about trying it on. I kept it in its packaging a while longer. Designed to be discreet, I could just pretend it was something else for a bit. I felt bloated, like I was spilling outside of myself, and I was afraid and excited that it would change something.

When I finally threw it on, it was under cover of night. I wrestled with it over my head, left arm through, and found conflicting opinions about breast position on ftm Reddit. I even watched a video about how to put it on and all. 

And there I was... flat...  

I put on all of my favorite shirts and clothes and got a sort of rug burn from all the different textures I was throwing on and off. I wore it on its own, looked like my boy cousins in their sandos when we were growing up together. I looked at myself in an old mirror, and ran my hand down the straight line from my clavicles to my belly button. 

And there I was... flat...